


i could stare at your back all day

by ImSoSupernova



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-04 21:30:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16354628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImSoSupernova/pseuds/ImSoSupernova
Summary: even glows pink in the night in his room......he's been blossoming for days over isak....





	i could stare at your back all day

**Author's Note:**

> based on the song pink in the night by mitski!! please, please, please listen to it before or during reading, it's absolutely beautiful. this is totally unedited and unbetaed. also part of my evak/mitski breakdown. please enjoy!!

even thinks of isak, that night after he comes over to his flat.

he’s done this every night since he first saw him, picturing his face in his mind, running his mind over the crest of his lips, the fine bones of his cheeks, the cleft in his chin, the slope of his nose. and then his hair, soft and gold under his snapback, sticking up ever so slightly in the back in ways that makes even want so desperately to brush it back down. he thinks of this, over and over again, until he feels as though he could trace them in his sleep. in these moments it's just even and his thoughts of isak, glowing softly in his room.

tonight, even remembers this and he remembers it all in his room, isak sitting on his windowsill, joint in hand, laughing and trying (and failing) to rap, snapback askew and then falling off and the two of them bursting into laughter. the cheese sandwiches, that sweaty, sweaty cheese, and those spices, piled on top and on top and on top of each other and jokes on jokes on jokes until they’re shaking from giggles and they’ve ruined any possibility of making any semblance of a tasty snack--but they’ve got an inside joke, a tangible  _ something,  _ a reminder of their time together. even smiles as he thinks of it now.  _ kardemomme. _

that, and isak’s snapback, still on the floor in his room. even holds it now, feels the rough canvas fabric, holds it to his face. it smells like sweat and soap and weed smoke and cheap cologne and  _ isak. _ even knows he has to give it back to him at some point. he’ll have to  _ see  _ him again, at school. the thought makes his heart bloom like a sunbeam, like a flower, a spring crocus pushing its way up from the cold, hard snow. it’s been so long, even thinks, since he’s  _ felt  _ like this _. _

as if on cue, his phone buzzes. a text from sonja. he wants to throw his phone at the wall. he wants to delete her contact information, change his number. because for a moment, he’s forgotten that he’s still with her, the look on isak’s face when he introduced him to her earlier that day. how he wanted to tell him in that moment,  _ it’s not her, it hasn’t been her in years, it’s you and it always has been! _

how stuck he feels. even feels his heart wilt and break.

he hears a clatter on his roof, a sudden pounding, almost, and even realizes that it’s begun to rain. one of those quick, devastating fall rainstorms. if you’re unlucky enough to get caught in them, you’ll be soaked in moments, frozen to the bone.

he turns his head and sees a flash of maroon. it’s isak’s snapback, lying next to him on the pillow. he holds it close to his chest, closes his eyes, feels it rise and fall with his chest, his breath. the air keeping him alive. 

the rain continues outside. even keeps his eyes shut and listens, and with every drop he thinks of isak’s face and his hair and his laughter and his bad rapping and his  _ kardemomme  _ and he thinks, over and over again,  _ i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you-- _

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on tumblr @butchshaydixon


End file.
